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Milspouse Rock Carnival: My MilSpouse Story

I am participating in the MilSpouse Rock Carnival. In honor of Military Spouse Appreciation Day, May 7th, Wives of Faith is hosting a carnival that will run all week long (May 1- May 8). It will include a daily topic and giveaway.

The Topics for the Week:

May 1: My MilSpouse Story – we all love hearing and sharing these stories! Share how you met your husband and your first experiences as a military wife.

May 2: My MilSpouse Scripture Verse - what’s the Bible verse or passage that keeps you going? Share the scripture and why you love it so much.

May 3: My Top 10 – What’s Great About Being a Military Wife

May 4: My Top 10 – What’s Tough About Being a Military Wife

May 5: My Funniest or Most Embarrassing Military Wife Moment

May 6: What’s Cookin’ – What’s your most favorite thing to cook? Share the recipe and pics if you have them!

May 7: Why I Think MilSpouses ROCK – here’s your opportunity to honor military wives everywhere.

May 8: What I’ve Learned So Far as a Military Spouse

My MilSpouse Story

My story is a little bit different than most milspouses. My Sailor isn't my high school sweetheart, we didn't fall madly in love instantly, and we weren't even engaged when we were married.

I met Kari online in a yahoo chat room in 2004. He was legally sepreated from his wife at the time and I was unhappily engaged and had a 2 year old son from a previous relationship. When we met in person our relationship was mainly physical other then him being someone I could vent to. In December of 2004 I left my then fiance to try to start something with Kari and became pregnant. Kari wasn't ready for a relationship with me or a child. We ended up going our seperate ways and I went back to my ex. At the time I thought everything was going to work out with my ex and I thought we were happy, but he was harboring ill feelings about me carrying Kari's child (which I completely understand).

Kari met Jaidon when he was 3 months old and we slowly started to realize there was something between us. I was young and confused and couldn't decide between Kari and my ex. They both brought differnt things to the table and both had different faults. I knew my ex loved me, but I didn't know if we could get past the fact that I had another man's child. Back and forth I would go. I decided to try to work things out with Kari the day before he headed to boot camp. He left just a few days before Thanksgiving 2008.

Boot camp went well and I attended his graduation in January 2009. From there Kari went to A-school in Pensacola. During A-school he came home (Houston) for court to finalize his divorce (that only took forever). During the divorce precedings the lady handling everything noticed that both he and his soon to be ex wife had fully moved on and already had kids outside of the marriage so she offered to waive the 30 day waiting period to get married again. We totally got married on a whim. I remember one of my friends texting me to see how thing were going and I replied, "fine...just finished getting married." I then sent everyone else a text message saying "I'z married now" like in The Color Purple. A few hours later Kari was on his way back to Pensacola.

Less than a month went by and he graduated from A-school then we were off to his first duty station, where we are now. Navy life happened real quick after that because my husband was deployed two weeks after arriving to NAS Lemoore. I forgot to mention that we also found out I was pregnant about a week after arriving, but I later miscarried on Sept 11th.

September to December is pretty much a blur with a few good days here and there because I became really depressed. I contemplated and attempted to attempt suicide and was institutionalized in a mental hospital in Bakersfield where I was diagnosed as bipolar. My hubby was sent home immediately and arrived on Christmas Day, the same day I was released from the hospital.

It's now May and I'm still trying to figure out what it means to be bipolar. I refuse to take my meds because they make me crazier. I will never understand why in order to fix one thing I have to gain ten more problems. All I know is I'm really crazy, but I still have love and support from lots of family and friends. One day at a time I'm on the road to being the best woman, mom, milspouse, friend, and whatever other title I have that I can be. Oh and Kari and I will have been married one year on May 18th. This last year has been one of the hardest of my life, but I've had many hard years.

That's my story. Check out more milspouse stories here.

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Kathryn said...

Wow what a story! :)

Jessica said...

thank you for sharing your story and being so open ;)
I pray that you will find the answers you are looking for
I am following you now and look forward to reading more.

SailorWifey said...

Thanks to both of you for reading and commenting!

Jessica thank you for your thoughts and prayers.

ERRNfromMS said...

Thank you for sharing your story. It takes a lot of courage to share when they arent fairytales. I can relate, trust me. Im in Lemoore too. I got here in October 2009. Still havent ventured out much to meet people on base.
Hang in there, we are all crazy, well at least I know I am fo show.