06.03.10

Today I had orientation for manicure school which starts next week. I've looked forward to this day for months and then i didn't want to go today. See today was also the last day of school for my kids and my oldest, David received an award "Most Improved Student." I try not to miss an of his special events no matter how big or small because I remember the days when I walked across stages for awards and there was no one cheering in the audience for me...that just sucks. My husband did go, but not without me having to pull teeth. He works nights and prefers to sleep all day unless he wakes up to play the PS3. Needless to say my day started off all wrong. I wish guys came with parental instinct the way most of us women do. I'm tired of arguing over things I believe he should automatically know to do.

Orientation went well, but I found out I have absolutely nothing within their dress code...I don't know why I expect anything in my life to be easy. I'm relying on a prayer to work that out b/c the extra money we had went to my application fees for the school. On the way home I gave myself a pep talk and picked my mood up so I'd be pleasant during the few moments my husband and I had before he headed to work tonight. Hmph...that went right out the front door as I walked in because wouldn't you know he decided to sleep instead of making sure Jaidon made it to school today. Lord help me Lord help him.

I almost had one of my usual pity parties/depression fits, but my friend called me with just what the doctor ordered. We headed to the pool with kids in tow to kick off the summer right.

My form of bipolar disorder causes me to have severe depression. To some today may not have been that bad, but days like this make me think crazy thoughts. I lose interest in everything and just want to either drink (alcohol) or sleep or both. I'm lucky to have people who care and know to push me back on the right track. I've come a long way since December and I'm proud of myself. I'm trying really hard not to let anything or anyone stand in my way of living...death has never been that big if an issue to me. Up until recently death actually looked quite desirable.

I think David may have his first girlfriend...hahaha

I'm not sure what my boys were looking at.

All those smiles made life okay again :)